September 2010
41 posts
1 tag
Day9- hopes of what your future will look like
I honestly don’t know. I hope I age with grace, confidence, strength and with love. That’s all I could hope for.
Day8- moment you've felt satisfied.
K this is hard. Probably a few weeks ago when I officially quit smoking, changed my hair drastically, came clean to my best friend about EVERYTHING that has happened to me, stopped complaining everyday to some guy who I thought was my best friend, and finally, realized that I was extremly happy with my boyfriend and that for once, I wasn’t stuck in a shitty relationhip.
scatteredtruffula asked: Hey thanks for the follow =]
Day7- zodiac sign and does it suit you?
I’m a libra. It symbolizes balance. I think it suits me. I can be a day dreamer yet very realistic. I can be very pissed off but I can also be very calm.
Day6- 30 interesting facts about yourself
Half of my head is shaved
I’ve never been on a plane
I hate people yet I have an interest in figuring them out
Related to #3, I’d rather be a dog then a person
Two years ago, I figured I trusted about 15 people. That number I trust is now four
I almost fell asleep while getting tattooed on my ribs
I have mood disorder(depression) due to drug abuse and tramautic experiences.
...
Off to work at the salon
My hands will constantly be wet
Day5- time you thought of ending your life
April time I think. Thinking of overdosing on pain pills. Life wasn’t all that great. My family life was pure shit and therapy worthy. I was still lying to my best friends about being raped and such. I was dealing with some stupid drama. Things were pilling up. It’s all blurry to be honest. I flushed the pills down the toilet after having a panic attack and crying for a half hour. (I...
Day4- religion?
I’m an atheist. There is no god. That’s all.
Day3- drugs& alcohol?
Started drinking at 12 or 13. Starting doing drugs at 13 or 14. It depends on the situation. I’d be a hypocrite if I hated people for doing these things to ease pain or whatever. I’ve done it. For partying, ive done it. Happy, done it. Sad, done it. Bored, done it. I can’t hav. A view on drugs and alcohol cause no matter what I’d say, I’d be a hypocrite, a liar and a...
Day 2- in 10 years?
I wanna be happy. I’m not gonna say I want the perfect job, be with the perfect person and be starting the perfect family. I don’t care. As long as when I’m 28 I’m happy and healthy. I know this sounds stupid but honestly, I’m not thinking of marriage or family right now so don’t ask where I wanna be in 10 years, don’t even ask where I wanna be in 10...
Day 1- relationship?
Yep. A great guy named Billy. He’s the first person I’ve felt this way with. It’s amazing. We’ve been going out since mid march ‘10. I know him though some guys band so the musician aspect is a total turn on. I could talk about him forever. I’ll stop.
Fuck me hard or go home
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I love it when....
I have to stop fcking my boyfriend because I get graphic flashbacks of my abusive ex, ad my boyfriend holds me and tells me that’s it’ll all be ok. He’s the only person I believe.
I'm breaking down and you don't even notice.
Next tattoo
It’s gonna be on the back of my neck. The elvish incription upon the ring in the lord of the rings. ” one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness binds them.”
I’m a nerd
my lunch
A chocolate chip muffin, and two cigarettes.
When i got home i ate salad with salmon and raspberry dressing to make up for my lack of yummy.
mandiface asked: Hello! (:
I'm Amanda, and I'm just trying to get to know some of my followers. Not to mention you're a cutie.
I'm Amanda, and I'm just trying to get to know some of my followers. Not to mention you're a cutie.
This may be weird but...
I can’t explain how I’m feeling. If I had a choice I wouldn’t feel this way, but I don’t. I can’t help it and I just have to deal with it. It feel like nothings worth it. That it would be better, not necessarily easier, but better if I just gave up. I wanna be happy, I have one really good reason to be happy, but I can’t. I’ll catch myself staring at the...
Tmi Tuesday: rock 'n roll
What to say. It’s the only music that matters. I mean music with edge and meaning filled with passion and soul. I do sing and play guitar. I also know basic drums and basic piano. It’s my main outlet. But, I can be shy about it because I’m afraid that it will be ruined by those who do not appreciate my love. Oh well, they’ll just have to suck it up.
Tmi Tuesday: drugs
I stared doing drugs when I was 12 or 13 and it started with pot but that didn’t last long. I’ve had passionate relationships with cocaine, e, MDMA, pain killers and some quickies with shrooms, acid and I’m sure I’m forgetting some. They fucked me up bad and I have the physical and emotional scars to prove it. But, each one of those days is a story to tell.
Tmi Tuesday: sex
I lost my virginity to an abusive asshole while I was loaded on cocaine. Until this day, the details are still foggy but I know this: I was high, he wasn’t; I didn’t want it, he did. As much as I hate him and that day, I don’t regret it because it’s helped me become who I am.
TMI Tuesday.
Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll.
It's weird how....
I get totally turned on when my boyfriend pushes me against a wall and digs his fingers into my back, leaving many cuts. But, when my ex pushes me against a wall and grabs my inner thighs, leaving some very dark bruises, I have the sudden urge to castrate him.
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For one day.....
I wish my dad wasn’t a selfish, abusive and judgemental jerk. I wish my mom wasn’t a weak, controlling bitch. I wish nothing bad ever happened to me. I wish I never heard of drugs, sex, or alcohol. Then again, accepting reality has helped me become who I am. It has helped me find a few trustworthy friends and an amazing boyfriend who can help me wish my problems away. Let’s stop...
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