December 2010
33 posts
Last night was one of those nights. The kind that I’ll remember for awhile. Because, two cans of redbull and a handfull of painkillers don’t mix. Not that I didn’t know this before hand. I was fully aware. I just did not care.
So as I puked up my bad decision, I couldn’t seem to stop shaking. Wow. I’m lucky that I puked. Cause worse has happened with that mix. Fuck....
This girl at work full out tried to convert me to Christianity when i’m clearly an atheist. Se kept saying how I should read the bible and that I’ll get some sort of connection to god and he’ll save me. She also said that all my bad decisions are because the devil has entered my mind. What a load of crap.
November 2010
56 posts
even when im in a relationship, i still feel alone...
livingmemory:
i need you here
Like no ones there
For the longest time, I’d be called Pez cause I got into a fight and my head shot back then it came forward again like a spring, while I had the biggest grin on my face. (exactly like those mini pez holder/dispensers) I then proceeded to break that chicks nose.
@allthingsbianca
You’re just liking everything I post today.
Next time I see you, I’m getting double the hugs!!
I’m gonna get my other nipple pierced so i can finally get my star (outline) tattoos around both of my nipples. I’m so excited. Tattoo/piercing places should be open on mondays (my day off)
itllputcolourinyourcheeks asked: hello :) i see we differ on starwars fan sex.
titsnshit666 asked: thanks for following :) you're really cuteee x
I think I’m gonna start smoking again. I just can’t deal.
“But if I’ve done the right thing, why am I so damn lost?”
– Symphony of Nine
I’m not able to say “I love you” out loud.
It just not possible.
Too bad.
I won’t apologize.
They say I need help. They say I need to grow up, move on, forget. I say I need nothing. I say I will stay young and careless forever, always remembering.
With every second, it gets harder. I fall deeper into the darkness and even though I will sometimes try to escape, I find myself getting deeper in the black hole better known as my life. Depression sucks, but atleast it’ll be a adventurous struggle I can look back on in a couple of decades and think “fuck. Things were tough but atleast I was strong enough to break from the easiest...
Dilemma
I need the company, so I keep speaking to those who don’t care about me much and use me when they need, and forget me when something better comes along.
I need to be alone, so I distance myself from everyone because most of them don’t seem to care about me anyway.
I’m screwed. I need the company and I need to be alone. I hate people so I can’t seem to hold onto friends...
So if I tell you something, it’s ok to tell whoever the fuck you want. But, if you tell me something I should automatically know that I can’t tell anyone. So if I need to talk to you, you don’t answer and blow me off without a worry. But, if you want something, I should answer right away and remember to be extra nice about it. Right, I forgot how friendships work.
Definition of atheism I found- the denial of the existance of god.
No. We don’t deny the existance. There is no god, god does not exist. We can’t deny something when we KNOW there is no god. Denial makes it seem like secretly we believe in god. We don’t. There is no god.
You tell me it’ll all be ok, but holding my hand and kissing my cheek doesn’t make it ok. You tell me to explain what’s going through my head, cause you can tell I’m in one of those moods. I finally give in and tell you, and who’ve fallen asleep, and answer with “I hope you’re okay” the next morning. The way you kiss me tells me you love me, but...
Insomnia.
Fuck.
reblog if you want an anon's honest opinion about...
1 tag
As I laid on the blood soaked bed, I felt his warm breath on my neck. I trembled as he whispered into my ear an grabbed onto my wrists forcefully. While the drugs kicked in, I felt a jolt of numbing adrenaline through my body. Through the same body that had been bruised, cut and burned to ease the harsh realities. As my heart was pumping faster, the lights grew brighter and unfocused. I reached...
“I wanna be your anti-hero, babe.”
– Billy.
Today, while fucking my boyfriend, I guess we kissed too roughly and my labret piercing fell out.
So there we were, but naked, putting my piercing back in.
It was a team effort.
My boyfriend fell asleep and i woke him up finally by kissing him and smiling.
“you’re definitely something else,” he said smiling, “something great. Thanks for letting me sleep, I really appreciate it. Really. It means a lot to me. More then you think.”
He then kissed me passiontely.
Mitch, however, did not chuckle. Mitch fantasized about tying mr. Laidlaw to a bed and cutting long incisions into his torso with a razor blade before filling the wounds with Morton salt. He closed his eyes and imagined this torture while Laidlaw spoke.
-“Downtown Owl” Chuck Klosterman
goodoldval:
Anorexia isn’t skipping a meal.
Bulimia isn’t making yourself puke every once in a while.
Self injury isn’t taking a razor to your skin when he breaks up with you (again).
Drug addiction isn’t trying it one time.
Bipolar isn’t not sleeping for 2 nights.
Schizophrenia isn’t seeing things when you’re high.
MPD isn’t acting like someone you’re not because you’re upset.
Depression...
“You’re like one of those boxes that can’t be opened normally annd...”
– my boyfriend about me.
I’ve erased you from my life, so why can’t I erase you from my mind? If you’re so bad for me, why do you still haunt my dreams and not my nightmares? If I’m way happier now then I ever was with you, then why am I still curious to know if you’re thinking about me? Why have I forgive you for all you put me through? Because you’ve made me stronger as a person....
Oh cocaine, how I miss the burning sensation you used to give me.
When he says “wanna come over to sleep with me?” he means “let’s fuck until your even more tired then you already are, then we’ll nap together and there’s no getting out of it.”
I always get out of napping and we end up fucking until we both get tired then talk and laugh until we realize it’s 4:30 am. So we fuck some more and then go to sleep holding...
I just dipped my chewy chocolate chip gronola bar into peanut butter. Fucking jizz.
Piercing count: 11
1 tag
5:45- I come home to my mom, my brother and dinner
7:15- my brother goes out. Just my mom and I for the night
10:50- my dad gets home
11:00- my dad is yelling and swearing at my mom
11:15- my mom goes to bed, crying.
Whatta night.
breathlessandtorn-:
why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing why are my parents arguing
oh yeah that’s right, they always do
k cool
Why?
Why am I addicted to pain and bull shit?
Why am I constantly in a shitty mood?
Why do I have to find the smallest problems and exaggerate them?
Why can’t I explain how in really feeling?
Why must I ruin every kind of relationship I have?
Why do I keep expecting something bad to happen?
Why am I still left disappointed after all my disappointments?
Why do I distance myself from those I...
Listening to my boyfriends voice on his cd cause I can’t fall asleep. It’s calming me down. I wish he was here.
I’m going lingerie shopping tomorrow with my best friend.
All though it’ll be for my boyfriend, she’s gonna definitely land herself a lap dance. Done.
I’ve lost all trust for you. I thought you were my best friend. You knew all my secret. I’ve dealt with disaster and dissapointment before, but this, this was unexpected. It feels like you broke down my brick wall and defences just to learn all my secrets then use them agaisnt me. You’re like everyone else. I should have known never to trust anyone. Way to ruin it for anyone and...
